Children, Chit-Chat, and Chocolate: Darth Turkey...expect foul play

Thing's I've learned the hard way

Do not sneeze immediately after putting on mascara.
Don't make out with someone 2 days after you get your wisdom teeth removed.
Do your Kegel exercises
Crying DOES get results (if mom is the one crying)
If you want peace and quiet, lock the bathroom door
You can not make a child eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom
Don't tell family when you hide spinach in their food
Don't eat Buffalo Wings every day in the last month of pregnancy
Don't take kids in the toy section of the store
Don't drink water and laugh at the same time
Mom was right (about so many things)
Do not get in a jacuzzi when you have the flu
Do not add bubble bath to a jacuzzi